The past few days I've been feeling like crap. My depression is kicking in and I can't stop it. One minute I'm feeling great about myself and everything, then bam life is shitty. When I'm in class I see all these girls that are so pretty and it doesn't look like they have to try hard. I try so much and I get so tired of it I don't wanna try anymore. I'm hopeing when I go home next week I will start to feel better. Ah I'm rambling.. but as I lay in my bed and write this I have the depressed feeling coming over me. There some people that I see and they make me smile but it also makes me sad cause I want them to know how I am. They don't know I'm depressed, I want to have another person that I can talk to and have them be like I understand. On top of all this depression stuff. My life at home isn't going so well. My moms still with her abusive bf and she doesn't want to get rid of him and she started wearing the ring he gave her which makes it seem more real that she might get married to him and I really don't want that to happen. He pulls apart my family when I'm up at college. My mom and my sister get in arguements all the time and my sisters attuidue is changeingand I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone away for college, I know it was the best thing for me but I feel that me being away is hurting my familys relationship and I think some of it may be my fault. Even though I know its not I feel like it is. All these things going through my mind are driveing me nuts. I wish things would get better. Well that was my ramble of my life right now for anyone who's reading.
