theatre family... maybe not

have you ever had those days that you couldn't put a name to what you were feeling? i get that way every time i see any theater thing when i know the people in it. maybe my major isn't important as i thought, being a techie only helps the actor. no one goes to a show to see the technical parts they go to be taken into a life other then there own. tonight i saw a show put on from the musical theater students in my school. the whole time i watched i wanted to be them the joy they get from what they do, it made me want to be good enough to do that with them. They always look so happy and have such good relationships. When i look at the technicians it doesn't make me happy because all i hear is people complain and bitch about each other, i feel that they are the mean girls of the school that don't care about anyone but themselves. i wish i could change this because a theatre is suppose to be a family that's why i even decided to theatre. in high school it was the only thing that i could fall back on when i could handle my mom and her bf problems. here its nothing like that, i don't see the family aspect. that's why when i fall for a guy its most likely an actor because they have more of the family style life, they seem more caring and sweet. Maybe one day it will change.... hopefully anyway.